I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas! I took a little break to spend time with family and had a blast. I’m sure its about the same thing y’all were doing too.

Below are some of my thoughts on meeting the needs of those going through difficult times coming from a military wife’s perspective. I hope you enjoy.

Dogs. They always have eachothers back.

“If you need any help just call.”

This is a phrase I used in the past with the best of intentions, and it never really bothered me until I entered the military (aka married a Marine officer). Once I started getting it a lot during deployments, it started to sound meaningless. Best case scenario, it comes across as nice, but empty, and at its worst it can come across as careless.

During deployments military families are going to need help, so if you really are interested in helping, why not ask how you can help. If you really aren’t interested or feel you have too much going on in your own life to help, don’t offer empty words. From my perspective, seeing a need and meeting it shows much more sincerity in wanting to help than offering a fruitless phrase, “If you need any help just call.” Some are more willing than others to bite on this, but more often than not, people truly don’t know how much you’re willing to help, or know if you really mean it. I think a better alternative is bringing a meal over, offering to clean the house, or cutting the lawn, etc. Taking the initiative shows sincere concern, and is always fruitful.

I’ve heard it been said that if you really know someone, such as a close relative, or friend, they don’t need to ask for something when they need it…you just “know” they need it without them saying so. Certainly the stronger your Church family, the more proactive help you might receive. But even still, does that mean we should only truly be there for people you know best? What about a stranger at church? You know, a person you see at church that you don’t really know very well, but by technicality they’re your family through Jesus. What about them? What if you can tell they need something? Should you ignore them? I really don’t think so.

Jesus certainly taught about being a friend to a stranger, and meeting the needs of the needy (Matt 25:34-40). He talked about loving each other; by doing so others would see that we’re His disciples (John 13:34-35). Yes, Jesus was talking about giving water to the thirsty, and food to the hungry, but I think it also applies to meeting the needs that come up during difficult times, during an illness, deployment, unemployment, surgery and so on. I’d like to think when members of your church are going through a tough time everyone rallies together with compassion to be there for them, regardless of their level of connection. To me, I see it as an opportunity to witness and serve.

So much focus is put on serving the community and the world sometimes that the church family is neglected. I think balance needs to be achieved and priorities need to be arranged accordingly. Relationship with God first, spouse second, family third, church family, then community. If the order is ignored things don’t function successfully. The stronger your relationship with God, the more you can give to others, the stronger your relationship is with your spouse the more of a blessing you are to your kids, the more love you pour into and receive love from your church family, the more you witness to others by the love they see, and the stronger you can work together to reach the world. You see what I mean? It all trickles down.

Community should be proactive, and not preclude “closeness” or even a friendship. Reach out, and meet a need you see without being asked, and if you’re still confused as to how you can help, ask! It never hurts and we can’t read each other’s minds. Love is a verb, not a feeling, and the service Jesus calls us to doesn’t acknowledge your familiarity with that person; we’re called to serve others no matter who they are or how well we know them.

Something I’ve purposed to do in my own life is to put a pause on it when someone needs me. If someone just had a baby, or went through surgery, or is going through a crisis, I think it’s imperative to put a pause on my busy life, make a meal for them, and put my own interests aside for their benefit. I think by making a mental note and doing that one little thing, it can help us all to live outside of ourselves and help someone else.

No, I do not have it all figured out, nor do I perfectly follow through on meeting the needs of the needy. I confess I have also shown a blind eye, or have been too busy to consider others. I also do not have resentment towards those who have turned a blind eye to me. But having gone through what I have spurs me to want to be the change, to want to be there for others, to take the initiative to help, to see a need and help without waiting to be asked.  Ultimately, God puts us through trials so that we can have more compassion for others going through the same (or similar) trial and be there for them when they need it.

I hope this encourages you, even if just a little bit, that if you see someone you know who needs help, you might stop to ask “how can I help?” instead of “if you need any help just call.” If you want to take it a step further, be even more proactive and let them know when you’re dropping the food off. Be the good Samaritan, be encouraged, be the change, and meet a need.

Who do you know that needs a need met? How might you help them?

Amanda.

My Ergo sport…a help when I need my hands free!