Since being pregnant with baby number two I’ve changed a lot. Obviously my body is working extra hard, and fatigue has been pretty evident. It was difficult for me to be okay with my fatigue, because with this fatigue came more naps and less productivity.

Not that I ever had it perfect before this pregnancy, but I felt like I was often “on top of it” and had a routine down that made me somewhat efficient. I didn’t feel a whole lot in the way of chaos or disorganization…most of the time.

Let’s just say I felt like the house has become a little crazier and the laundry a little more “behind” since this pregnancy. Somebody from the outside looking in might say, “relax, it’s really not a big deal…or, try having five kids,” etc, etc. And I get that in my mind, but I still struggled with not measuring up to who I use to be.

I know this is a temporary season, and more than anything I’ve just wanted to enjoy it. Not measuring up to the old me honestly gave way to feelings of depression, and inadequacies through and through. I eventually admitted all that I was feeling to the women’s ministry group I host at my house once a month.

Embarrassing as it was to admit, I somehow knew I needed to be honest, so that through the power of prayer I could find healing and release.

Shortly after, I decided to take action against all that I was feeling, and looked into ways I could combat depression. I started doing the usual things of making exercise a priority, taking my vitamins, eating right, getting outside for some good old vitamin d…

I knew I needed to act because after reading that depression releases not so good hormones to the developing baby, I didn’t want it to be an option. I read in my small research that some studies conclude that exercise works just as well as antidepressants.

So week by week I slowly became stronger, and happier. I really believe this was supernatural healing from answered prayers, and reaping the rewards of making good choices for my health both physically and emotionally.

Getting dressed before Asher woke up, rising before him, having the house in good order, and being on top of laundry just didn’t make my to-do list. Instead  I focused on exercising, getting dinner finished, looking after Asher, getting outside, alone time with God, and resting when I needed to. This all made for a successful day in my books. Exercise has become a very big priority to me, because I consider it part of my medicine, so why would I ever skip it?

Since letting go of my “high standards” I feel like a big old weight has been taken off my shoulders. I feel happy, and joyful, and all this simplifying I’ve done makes the extra things I get done like laundry and some house cleaning just that, extras. The weird thing is I actually do get more done when I exercise because of the extra energy, but my motive behind exercising isn’t so I can produce more but so I that I can be the healthiest Mom I can be to my family and the growing baby inside of me.

I really pray that if you are in a similar position that you too would find freedom and release with the help of prayer, and simplifying your life. God really does heal today, not just physically but emotionally too. I also want to encourage you to look after yourself first so that you can be the healthiest, happiest you. It may sound selfish, but to use the crashing airplane analogy, if you don’t give yourself oxygen first you won’t be able to help anyone when you’re dead. Likewise, you’re much more equipped to serve others if you feel fresh, healthy and happy. To get there you do need to prioritize yourself.

Standards, I think, should encourage us to be our best, but when they become unachievable, like mine became, they become stumbling blocks, suffocating, and guilt-inducers. I’m just so thankful that I’m free from the high standards and thankful for the prayers because God heard and acted.

Amanda.